Penn's Birth Story

April 24th, 2008

Well, it was only 2 years ago, almost to the date, that I sat here writing my first birth story. I seem to remember being incredibly emotional (as was probably evident in my writing), as I had been much of the time during and shortly after the birth. This time around I have an entirely new set of emotions, almost hard to explain. Although this birth followed the same route as the one 2 years ago, it was very different experience. Oh well, enough talk, let me just get into it.

I will say that like last time, Hollie and I desired a 100% natural, drug free birth. We realized that this possibility was not that great, given the fact that she had a c-section last time. We had decided going in though, that we would pray about this and trust God to do what needed to be done, and decided we would be at peace with that. Our doctor was understanding, and supportive throughout the entire pregnancy, which was a blessing. Anyway, the whole thing started off Thursday morning. Let me take that back. The whole thing started Tuesday morning. Hollie had an appointment with the OB since she was overdue (once again). They did a 3D ultrasound, and decided that Penn was too big to wait much longer, and that something needed to be done. I need to add here that, unlike last time, Hollie and I felt that our doctor was one that actually had nothing but our best interests at heart, and that whatever happened, we would trust our doctor to make decisions that were best for us. So, we trusted her when she told us that she felt that if we had any hope of a natural birth, we would need to come in and at least have Hollie's water broken to start the thing along. She schedule us to come in at 5 AM Thursday.

We drove to the hospital, checked ourselves in, and started the process of having Hollie prepped.

The nurse explained to us in extreme detail several times, that this procedure (natural birth following cesarean) was very risky, and it involved a risk of fetal and maternal death. This was comforting to hear, but we pressed on. Anyway, at 8:44 our doctor arrived and broke Hollie's water. She said she would give us 12 hours to progress, but that was about all she felt comfortable with. So, Hollie and I prepared ourselves for a long day, and began playing RACK-O (look it up).

About 11:30 Hollie started to have contractions. They weren't too strong, and about 7 minutes apart. We continued to watch TV, and just hang out. At 2:00, or doctor stopped back in to check in on us, and was happy with the contractions. Shortly after that, the contractions started to pick up in intensity.

At 4:00, the nurse came in to check Hollie, and found that she had not progressed at all since we came in 11 hours earlier. She said the baby had come down significantly, so there was some reason to be hopeful. Although neither of us said it, I think Hollie and I began to see the writing on the wall at this point.

About 5:30 the contractions really started to hit hard. They started to become really painful, and were consistently about 2 minutes apart, usually double-peaking. Hollie started to comment about how much they hurt, which if you know Hollie, you know that they must have been painful.

6:45 came around, and the nurse came back in to check Hollie before she left. Hollie had still not made any progress. The nurse left, and Hollie and I decided to pray. We prayed that God would somehow make it clear what we should do, and when we should do it. Our doctor walked in about 2 minutes after that, an hour and a half before she told us she would come in. She said that something had just told her that she needed to come check on us, so she cancelled her current appointment to come over. She gave Hollie a hug, and we all sat there knowing what decision had to be made. We knew this possibility was strong going in, and had done all that we could to make peace with it beforehand, but it was still hard to say. We decided that we would trust the doctor to make decisions that were best for us, so we followed through with this plan, and went ahead and decided to move forward with another c-section. Hollie, of course, still had a hard time accepting the decision, but I think she knew that it was in everyone's best interest. So, as soon as we gave the green light, the lights came on and everyone started rushing around to get her prepped for surgery. The hardest part of getting her ready was that although we had made the decision to do a c-section, Hollie was still laboring. Remember that to this point, she has had no meds, so her contractions were still strong and very close together, and now she is having to get up and move around, answering questions from everyone. She still pushed through it, like she always does.

About 7:25, after I had put on my operating room Astronaut Jones space suit (look it up), they took Hollie back to the OR to begin her anesthesia.

I joined her around 7:45. She was very calm, and the whole thing went very quickly.

At 8:00 exactly, they pulled Penn out. If you don't have kids, you can't imagine the feeling you have when you hear your child cry for the first time. It is something that is impossible to put into words. Shortly after we heard him cry, they told me to stand up with the video camera. Now, if you know me, you know that I don't do blood so well, and so doing this required a great deal of courage on my part. I stood up and filmed them getting him out, and in addition, saw more of Hollie's insides than I ever thought I cared to see. Anway, they brought Penn over the curtain, showed him to Hollie, then took him over to clean him up, where I followed. I couldn't get the stupid grin off of my face the whole time, but who cares, he's my kid.

Unlike last time, they didn't take Penn right to the nursery. Instead, they allowed him to go with Hollie to recovery so we could spend some time together as a family. They took him into the room with her, and I very excitedly went and found Hobs. I took Hobs into the room (he had not seen Hollie or me since the night before), and he immediately said "baby Penn, I found him. Let me give him a kiss."

We all hung out for about an hour, then they did take Penn back to the nursery to clean him up. They weighed him, and confirmed our belief that he was smaller than Hobs (he was 9lbs 14.5oz). After about 2 hours, we went to our room, and Hobs left with Penny. Once again, it was just Hollie and me (and Penn). I sat by Hollie, we prayed for our family, our new son, and our other son. We sat there and looked at him, and thanked God.

I said at the beginning that although this birth was very similar to our first, the emotions were different. During this birth, we felt very confident the whole time that God was in control. I don't know if it was the fact that Hobs has been such a blessing to us despite his birth not going as planned, or the fact that we trusted our doctor so much more. Whatever it was, this whole process felt much less invasive. It was truly a blessing that God prepared us for what happened. It is very emotional to realize that Hollie will not be able to give birth the way she has always wanted. I guess it is the fact that we have big babies (which the doctor told me is my fault apparently). It is hard to accept that we have been dedicated since day one to a certain type of birth, and that just hasn't become a reality for us. Things are really put into perspective, however, when you see families around the hospital who are not fortunate enough to have healthy babies. We have had 2 perfectly healthy boys, who are really a joy in our lives.

So, that is it. I wouldn't change it for the world. I still love my wife more today than I ever have, and admire her strength. She has done, and will continue to do more than I could ever think about doing for our family. I am excited to begin this next part of our lives together.