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Hobs' Birth Story |
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April
29th, 2006 To say our birth didn’t go the way
we had hoped and planned would be a grotesque understatement. However, I told
everyone that I would document exactly how it went, so I will stick to that
promise. So here is what happened from my (Stephen’s) perspective. I will begin by saying that I am not
much of a crier. It is not so much of a macho thing as it is a “that’s just not
the way I am built” type of thing. I don’t even think I could name the last 5
times I have cried before yesterday. However, yesterday I cried more times
than I have in the last 10 years, and that is not an exaggeration. Anyway, to
say the least, it was an emotional day, one that had about every emotion that
was possible built into it. Anyway, Friday we went into the Dr.
to have the baby checked out to make sure he and Hollie were still doing ok
since it was 10 days past the due date. The Dr. was, of course, very worried
that he was big and that she was overdue. She did an ultrasound, and told us
that he was so big the ultrasound machine didn’t even measure that size. The
biggest it went was 9.9 lbs, so she thought he would be bigger than that. She
strongly recommended a c-section, but we said we were committed to a natural
birth if possible. She sent us over to the hospital to run some non-stress
testing, and then signed us up for an induction on Monday the 1st
of May (which we didn’t know if we would show up for or not). So, the next morning (Saturday) at
4:00 Hollie woke me up to tell me that her water broke about 3:30. She said
she was having some small contractions, but nothing major. I slept on and off
for about another hour. Hollie was then having contractions a little
stronger, about 5-7 minutes apart. I packed the car, and Hollie’s
contractions began to pick up steam pretty quickly. At 5:45, we decided to
time them. I timed 3 contractions in a row, and they were consistently 2
minutes apart. We decided we needed to go ahead and get to the hospital since
it was about a 30 minute drive, and it was raining. 7:15 a.m. – we got to the hospital
and got into our room. They checked her about 30 minutes later, and she was
at a 6, which was great news. We gave the nurse’s our birth plan. They told
us some of the things on there conflicted with hospital policy, but we knew
that would happen going in. Despite my many pleas
not to, they continued an IV drip on Hollie. They had to put one in to have
her antibiotics administered for Group B Strep, but they insisted on having
glucose too. Instead of fighting this battle all day, I just turned off the
IV every time they left the room. They hooked her up to the monitors, and the
contractions were still coming about 2-3 minutes apart, lasting about 45
seconds. We asked for a birthing ball to use if needed, and Hollie laid down in the bed with her ipod
and got to work.
10:00 a.m. – they checked Hollie again.
Still a 6, but the baby was moving down more. Despite my many requests and
the fact that it was included on the birth plan, they still insisted on
telling Hollie exactly how much progress she had/had not made instead of just
telling me and letting Hollie know myself. We got out of bed and did some
walking around. We then got in the rocking chair to help things progress with
the help of gravity. Hollie was doing a great job relaxing through
contractions, without even a hint of weakness. At this point, Hollie’s mom
and our friends Micah and Lucy have arrived in the waiting room. I left to
talk to them for a minute or two, and to ask them to start praying. 12:00 p.m
– The Dr. made her first appearance. They check again, and Hollie is still at
a 6. She explained that she is afraid the baby is too big, and that is why
Hollie is not progressing. She suggests the use of Pitocin to speed things
along. We request 2 more hours to allow Hollie the opportunity to progress
from the Natural Alignment Plateau without the use of medication. She agrees,
but suggests that we may be on the way to a c-section if things continued
down this path. At this point I am beginning to become very frustrated with
our birth team for not following the birth plan, and insisting to say things
like this to Hollie, making it very hard for her to relax and let things
progress naturally. So, after the team left, I told Hollie I needed to go to
the restroom. I went in there and cried for the first time in probably a year
or two. Not a lot of tears, just a few out of concern and anger, and the fact
that I was working on about 4 hours of sleep. Still, Hollie was determined to
get this baby out, and she did not seem worried in the least. It’s funny how I should have been the one comforting her,
but it was kind of the opposite of that (although I didn’t tell her I was
worried). So, I returned to the room, and we got onto the birthing ball, and
did some walking around to help things along.
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2:00 p.m. – the
nurse returns to check Hollie. She was at a 7 - 8. I was so relieved that she
had made progress. She said that there was no reason to use Pitocin unless
the progress did not continue. We continued to work on the birthing ball,
rocking chair, and walk around to help her progress. The contractions had
continued to be 2-3 minutes apart, and were about 60 – 75 seconds in length.
They were beginning to grow in intensity. Hollie was still working great. 4:00 p.m. – Dr.
returns with the nurse. They check Hollie again, and she has not progressed
since the previous check. Dr. then said that she felt inclined to use Pitocin
to increase the intensity of contractions if we still hoped for a vaginal
birth. She said Hollie was showing signs of a dysfunctional labor (keep in mind, she is saying this in front of Hollie). We said that
we did not want Pitocin, that we felt Hollie could do this on her own. Dr.
said that since Hollie’s water had broken early, she was setting a deadline
of 8:00 p.m. that night for the baby to be delivered due to infection possibly
setting in. I stated that since the baby’s heart rate had been perfect the
entire day, why didn’t we just decrease the exams to eliminate that risk, and
let her continue to progress. Dr. disagreed, and thought that not checking
hourly would be detrimental to the health of the baby. She told us to talk
about it for a minute, then let her know if we
wanted to use Pitocin to help him out before At that point, my
“savior-of-the-day” Stacy showed up. She is our Bradley childbirth teacher,
and seems to always know what to do. I filled her in, and she agreed with
what I had said to the Dr. and nurse. She then relieved me so I could go talk
to Hollie’s mom, Micah, and Lucy. It took about 2 seconds for me to have a
complete mental breakdown when I walked into the waiting room. I lost it, and
of course, could not talk (I know, real manly). We prayed for Hollie and the
baby, then I sucked it up, and went back into the
room. Hollie was in the rocking chair, and the contractions had stopped for
the last 4 minutes (the longest break since we had left for the hospital). We
got her on her feet, and spent the next hour trying to get the contractions
harder and more frequent. They came in to check her at 6:00, and there was
still no change. 8:00 p.m. – The
nurse returns to check Hollie. She has still only progressed 1 cm since we
got to the hospital 13 hours ago. She was doing awesome, and had never asked
for pain meds during the entire time.
Dr. called, and told me that she was recommending an immediate
c-section. I told her that I did not agree with that decision, and that we
wanted Hollie to continue to progress naturally. She said that she had given
Hollie 8 hours too long, and that she believed she had gone above and beyond
to accommodate us. We continued this “discussion” for few more minutes, and
could not come to an agreement. I asked her for a few minutes to let Hollie
walk around, and to let us talk. She said she would give us 15 minutes at the
most. So, we sat down and had a very tearful talk. It had been a really long
day by this point. Hollie was still very ready and willing to keep going,
however, she was very tired. We had prayed for the entire 9 months for God to
give us a great birth, and for the baby to be completely healthy. We had
prayed all day during the labor for God to give us a great delivery, and to
do what is best for Hollie and the baby. So, after a very emotional prayer
and talk, we decided that God’s answer to our prayers may have been what we
were trying to avoid. The Dr. had assured us that she had a lot of concerns
with allowing contractions to continue with no sign of progress. The hardest part was trying to decide
whether or not continuing to pursue a natural birth was truly best for our
baby, or whether or not we were just being hard headed and refusing a
c-section because we didn’t want to feel like a failure. After all was said
and done, we decided that God was pointing us in the direction of a
c-section. We decided the rewards far outweighed the risks of waiting another
12 hours to see if Hollie would ever progress to 10 cm. So, after our little
tear filled talk, we informed the nurse that we were willing to go ahead. 8:30 p.m. – the
anesthesiologist came in to discuss the procedure with Hollie. Our actual Dr.
who had agreed to help in the procedure arrived along with the on call Dr.
that we had been working with. Hollie was still contracting really hard, and still continued to do an awesome job, given the
situation. They then took Hollie back to begin the epidural.
9:00 p.m. – they
came and got me to take me back to the O.R. The whole process was really
fast, and things went really well (given that it was a surgery). When they
cut down far enough to see the baby, the doctors and nurses all said “Oh my
god!” almost in unison. There were several “wow”s
and some “I don’t think I have ever seen one this big.” We could hear him cry
as soon as they got him out, then at 9:15, Dr. brought Hobson Neil Baldridge
around to see us. They took him to the warmer to do his vitals, then to make sure all his airways were clear, etc. I
followed him over there, then returned to Hollie with Hobs so she
could see him for about 10 minutes.
10:15 p.m. – they
took Hollie to recovery, and sent me to the nursery with the baby for his
weigh in, bath, hearing test, etc. He weighed in at 11 lbs, 1 oz. and 22 inches
long, which is, in fact, the new record at Medical Center of McKinney (the
previous record was 10 lbs, 8 oz). All of the nurses were very impressed with
him.
12:00 a.m. – We
returned to the room with the baby, where Hollie got to see him for the first
time since the O.R. We spent some time with the baby, Penny, and the Beitlers
just hanging out and talking about the day. After everyone else left, and it
was just Hollie, the baby, and me, I sat down on the bed with Hollie, and
proceeded to have my 4th breakdown of the day. We both just sat
there and cried. I don’t know why. Probably because it was all over, or maybe
because it was just the build up of all the emotions we had gone through all
day, who knows . . .
This was obviously
not the birth we chose for our son going in. We started this whole thing and
educated ourselves in attempts to avoid a c-section. However, we have no
regrets about our decision looking back on it. I still believe we made the
best decision for our son. She was probably just saying this to make us feel
better, but the Dr. told us he was lodged somewhat sideways in her pelvis,
and that is why he wouldn’t drop down. On top of that, she added that even if
he did get through, his shoulders were so wide that there was no way he would
have gotten out without breaking at least one of them. Anyway, in retrospect,
I fully believe that God used this situation to strengthen our faith more
than we ever thought it could. We believe that God used this birth and its
complications to bring Hollie and me together, and for us to become stronger
in our faith as a couple. Ok, here is the sappy part, please try to stay with
me (I promise I am not crying as I write this, I am hopefully done acting
like a woman). I do have to say that yesterday was probably the hardest day
of my life (and I wasn’t even the one in pain). I still look back on it and
don’t even know what to think. I have never had such an emotional swing in
one day. I do know, however, that I fell more in love with Hollie yesterday than
I ever thought possible. Going through that, and seeing what she went through
brought us closer than we have ever been. I love her more now because of
this, and will always remember yesterday not only because it was the birth of
our son, but because it was something we went through as a couple. It will
always be a special day because of that. |
